...I'm okay with being REALITY-based.




Tuesday, July 08, 2003
      ( 11:53 AM )
 
Tuesday Doldrums?

I have to confess that I'm having one of those I-hate-being-a-working-mom days (for the second day in a row) and the tape that is running through my mind is "I am horrible at working for other people, my job sucks, I never see my kid, blah." On the one hand, I have been very energized politically by my new involvement in the local Howard Dean campaign here in Oregon. It's nice to be around people who are filled with hope and excitement. On the other hand, my boss is being extremely passive-agressive and my 1 year old is teething his molars and feeling horrible with a low-grade fever for the last 3 days. I am lucky enough to have a husband who is not only wonderful but a skilled caretaker of our son - so I know wee Martin is in good hands while he's feeling yucky and his mouth is hurting. But I really want to be there too. I don't want to take away my husband's part, so I guess what I really want is for us to be independently wealthy so we can both stay home and raise our child together. Ah, that must be why it's called the "American dream."

Sometimes I get so tired of just getting by. Of only making do. Of cutting corners and cutting costs and cutting opportunities and chances. But I know that most of America lives this way, so I'm not alone. It's worrying about the next month's bills, not worrying about stock dividends, that occupies the worries of most of us. It's wondering if we should take the risk and cut off our health insurance for the adults in the family so that the kids can still have it, but we can also afford to pay the student loan payments. It's taking jobs that aren't enlightening or necessarily interesting or challenging, but that give us paychecks. It's taking three-day weekend mini-holidays instead of two-week vacations. It's worrying about friends who are even worse off than us. That's what American life is for most of us right now.

The headlines stay the same, the government pursues status quo, jobs are lost and not regained, houses are foreclosed on, medical conditions untreated. This isn't the kind of world I want my child to grow up in. When will our nation learn that it's far better to have a system that takes care of each other rather than claiming we are all better off fending for ourselves? When will our nation learn that depending on others and contributing to others' welbeing and futures is strength-building, not weakening? When will we learn that making friends around the world instead of enemies is what guarantees security and aid when we need it?

Anyway, just hanging on till next week when Martin and I take a blessed break from our usual world and fly out to the lake in Minnesota to spend a respite with my best friend (and his godmother). Meanwhile, it's just one of those days, I guess!

| -- permanent link