...I'm okay with being REALITY-based.

Friday, October 03, 2003
      ( 9:43 AM )
Dear Mr. Kay, I Found Your WMDs...

Oct 2, 2003
HERMISTON, Ore. -- Monitoring crews at the
Umatilla Chemical Depot detected a small leak
of vaporized sarin inside a concrete bunker
that stores 750-pound chemical bombs, a depot
spokesman said Thursday.

It was the second leak detected in three days.
Crews found a leak of sarin Monday in a bunker
used to store 155 mm projectiles.

Did you need to read that again? Go ahead, I'll give you some time.

Yep, that's right - in Hermiston, Oregon (that's about 3 hours from Portland), sarin gas is leaking in the Umatilla Chemical Weapons Depot. But not to worry! It didn't escape the bunker this time!

"It's at such low levels. It's very
routine for us," he said.

Now THAT'S comforting! Along with other chemical weapons plants that have been in use in this country since the World Wars, Umatilla is set to have its contents incinerated starting next year. The process is expected to take six years. In 2002, the Depot had to shut down its incineration tests because it was emitting illegal levels of toxins into the air. (Despite the government's insistence, incineration isn't the only way to get rid of these WMDs hiding amongst us. Other states are successfully using a process called neutralization to eliminate their stock of chemical weapons.)

So, in conclusion, Mr. Kay, if you find that you're getting bored in Iraq and you simply can't find enough to keep you busy over there, you're always welcome in Oregon! I'm sure we'd all like to know the full extent of the destructive weapons that are sitting, silently leaking, on our doorsteps. Then again, as our fearless leader proves to us daily, isn't ignorance bliss?

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