...I'm okay with being REALITY-based.

Wednesday, April 14, 2004
      ( 12:55 PM )
Cheney Clears Things Up

Voice of a Veteran was privy to a conversation with the vice president following the president's press conference last night. Read the whole thing, it's right on. Here's a taste:

Reporter: But Mr. Cheney, it was difficult to figure
out exactly what the President was saying in response
to our questions?

VP: Exactly. We have been practicing together for our
upcoming 9/11 Commission testimony, and last night
was really just a dry run.

Reporter: And what was the strategy he was using last
night -- and the strategy you both will use in front of the
9/11 Commission to answer their questions?

VP: Well it's clear that Iran & Syria, and possibly Botswana,
now make up the new axis of evil.

Reporter: You mean there is a new axis of evil?

VP: Right, and the FBI should have known about this
all along. They've been out of the loop.

Reporter: The FBI has been out of the loop??? I don't get
it. You are answering my questions with answers to
other questions.

VP: You are either with us or against us.

Reporter: What? I never said?Look, why won't the
President ever admit he makes a mistake? And doesn't
he realize that if he even gave a hint of an apology
about 9/11, his approval rating would probably shoot
up to 70% overnight? It would be seen as a sign of
strength, not weakness.

VP: It?s nobody's business who I go duck
hunting with!

Reporter: OK, let me get more specific
here -- last night the President was asked at least three
times, in different ways, whether he ever admits to doing
anything wrong.

VP: Yes, and if Americans will just be patient, we are close
to finding massive amounts of WMDs in Iraq.

Vet gets it right.

UPDATE: And for those who didn't catch the president in all his insane-ness last night, here is the busy person's guide to the press conference.

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