...I'm okay with being REALITY-based.




Tuesday, June 10, 2003
      ( 1:59 PM )
 
Working Dads

Being Daddy has a great post about being a stay at home dad. I don't know if any of my readers caught it, but last week I updated my sidebar to include links regarding Bohemian Daddies. I realized that I had lots of resources regarding Mamas and such, but the main support of my life, my husband, the Stay At Home Dad, and all dads like him should also have resources on my blog. Being Daddy's post gives me the opportunity to write a bit about a subject that is very close to my heart.

The post from Being Daddy reminds me of so many experiences my husband has already had in the six months he's been home with Martin. The presumption of people when he is out with the kid doing errands or at the park is that he is "babysitting" or for some reason home from work and spending a little time with his kid. After being asked by a store clerk if he was babysitting when he went in with his daughter, Being Daddy has this to say:

...In six months of staying home with The Girl, of going
to play-group, to the library, to story-time, the grocery
store, the playground, the park, I have met exactly ZERO
dads in my situation. So the more I thought about it, the
less I could blame the saleslady for part of her assumption.

No, what began to annoy me about the question was that
she felt she could ask it at all. Would anyone ever DREAM
of asking this of a mother? What low view of fathers does
she have to think that their contribution is so minimal that it
may be compared in the polite company of a total stranger
to that of a babysitter? I began to be offended not as a stay-
at-home father, but simply as a father. Even if I were just
watching my daughter for the morning, that does not make
me THE BABYSITTER.

I couldn't agree more. I wrote a few days ago about a mother working in a man's world and the prejudice that exists there. But the same is true for Dads who find themselves in the role traditionally assigned to mothers.

It's the same in advertising. Almost all products having to do with kids or home are geared towards the Mom. Now, granted, the majority of parents home with children are moms. But there is an increasing number of dads too. I also get steamed at things like the bilboard on the road near our home which is for a Dodge Caravan and it says "more reliable than a husband." That is just so horrible and made me cringe the first time I saw it, which was when I was in the car with my husband. I asked him what he thought of that and he commented that it's just the usual bashing of men. it doesn't really bother him, but it really bugs me.

So this is a big round of applause to ALL dads. Dads, like Moms, are full-time, no matter how that time is divided. But Dads who stay home with their kids: you get an extra bit of kudos from me because I think you are COOL.



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