...I'm okay with being REALITY-based.




Wednesday, June 04, 2003
      ( 4:54 PM )
 
Radical Mamas Rule

I was just perusing some of my favorite Mama Blogs and I realized that I just had to write about these fabulous women. It is obvious from my blog that I love to talk politics. It's definitely my favorite subject. But I think sometimes that I let this and other areas of my life and other interests dominate my conversation because I am afraid to become one of those mamas whose life is defined by her child. But doesn't being a mama in the first place mean that some part of your definition has to do with that child? I looked back to my post yesterday about Martin turning one. I realized that I don't really want to call him The Kid in my blog anymore. Him remaining anonymous is not the way to make him real in my writing, and so I think I'll just go ahead and call him by his name. It's a great name and I'm proud of it and proud of who we named him after.

Anyway...I noticed as I blogged around that I'm not the only mama struggling with the tug-o-war between motherhood and self-definition on my own terms. But I found that a balance is possible, and so many women are doing it, in their own fantastic ways:

Daintily Dirty has been a mama a lot longer than me and she's experienced challenges as a mama and come through them in a way that only makes me awed at her perseverence and creativity in dealing with them. Her baby turns 14 today and even in the midst of some pretty big upheaval lately, the birth of that little girl is still as clear as ever in Daintily's mind. It's only been one year for me and the pain and emotion of my child's birth is still fresh. I suppose it's a gift to have the memory of pain like that. It's a bittersweetness that only a mama can know. Perhaps it is part of the fabric that holds us together in the end.

Annie has been a mama even longer. She has the kind of wisdom that speaks to new mamas like me and helps me to feel calm - knowing so many mamas have weathered the storm is comforting. Annie reminds me daily to have a song in my heart, if not my head. It wards off the chatter of idiots.

Wampum is a champion mama. Even with 4 babies to her credit and to her load in life, she still advocates for the rest of us, and for the thousands of babies and mamas who deal with autism day in and day out. Her political insights often challenge me to be a more critical thinker, and her ability to dissect numbers in reports and tell the whole story is a true gift. At the same time she can accomplish all this, she manages to share the joys of first steps with the rest of us, a milestone that I especially savor sharing with other mamas...it's the end of being still.

Gina is a new mom, like me. Her honesty is staggering sometimes, and it's good to look into the heart of a mama who is not afraid to say that sometimes it sucks and sometimes it's so brilliant you can barely stand it. I feel like an old hand at mama-hood reading the newness in her feelings, and yet I'm not even a full step ahead of her and can still feel the exact same spark of expectation and bewilderment at the same time. Her blog is really refreshing and I enjoy it a lot.

Other blogging mamas have unique insight and really amazing takes on current events and the world happening around us. Read the news through a mama's point of view and you'll get an even better picture: Body and Soul, Easy Bake Coven, Foment, Sinister Sister, Down With Gravity (who reminds us that every good Mama needs a quote from Subcomandante Marcos up her sleeve for emergencies), and one of my newest favorites, SnakeHairedGirl (a new mama finding her way, just like me) ... they are all women of conviction and politic, activism and fervor - and they're all mamas who make being a mama the radical proposition that it truly is. Have a read on their blogs, no matter if you're a mama or daddy or not... you won't be sorry.

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