...I'm okay with being REALITY-based.

Friday, August 29, 2003
      ( 9:34 AM )
Friday is for Fathers

Catchin' up on the Dads today. Being Daddy informs us that Michael Jackson hasn't stopped terrorizing families yet, and though Rebel Dad is going on holiday, we can look forward to an exposition of Nathaniel Hawthorne's newly discovered writings about his stay-at-home dad experiences. One of my favorites is Laid-Off Dad, who seems to be mirroring my own experiences with my little boy. There must be some deeply ingrained baby-language that all babies speak as they transition into the language of their parents. Martin also "gocked" everything. (Not "grokked" as some of you Heinlein readers may be thinking - though it might be akin to the same thing in baby-world).

Two Dads really got me this week though. The first is Markos (aka Kos), who is giving us a look into his experiences as an expectant dad. His view from the "outside" of his child is wonderful to read - and those of us who have been through it really appreciate the laughs too (because I sure as hell wasn't laughing at the time!). I hope he keeps up his dad blog, it's wonderful to read. But in the end, the post that really set me to thinking was from David at Daddy Make a Picture. He has encountered a challenge that I daresay a lot of recently-new stay at home dads may face: An offer to return to the career that he was able to use his talents and skills in. But he has just gotten into the groove of staying at home with his kids and doing some part time work. What to do? It's not an easy choice, and one that Moms have to make all the time. I guess I feel sort envious that if he decides to go back to work full time, no one would fault him as they would a woman. Then again, if he decides to stay with the life he has created with his kids, then he may face judgment from elsewhere in society about being a "provider" or some such nonsense. I hope that whatever he decides, he will feel good in his heart about it. No one can know what is best for us except ourselves. I am proud of the people who buck the system to do what they feel is the right thing for themselves and their families. But I also think the system can be punitive far beyond where its reach should be, and I hope that in the coming months and years that the Dads who choose to stay home with their kids won't be judged for the careers they have left, but for the human beings they are helping to raise into citizens that will make our society that much better.

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